What everyone is thinking (and brooding over) but no one is talking about. Well, we here at Profile Wingman are not afraid of any dating discussion taboos – so let’s talk about some uncomfortable topics, shall we? Who’s with us?
Who pays? OK yes, it is 2013, but I am old school when it comes to this. I know a lot of people will disagree with me – and I welcome your comments below – but I think the man should pay. Wait, allow me to clarify. I think the person who did the asking for the date should be the one to foot the bill. Usually that is the man, but again, these are modern times, anything goes. I do think it is polite to offer to pay your half, whether male or female, inviter or invitee, but I maintain that the guy should pay in the end. At the very least, on the first date. After that, it becomes a bit more negotiable. I realize my thoughts are classic chivalry related, but you’re right, in this day and age, women potentially earn just as much as their male counterpart, so the reason for this ancient rule may no longer apply. I do feel that if you are the one who suggested the expensive restaurant, then you’d better be prepared to put your money where your mouth is. If your date activity ideas are writing checks that your wallet can’t cash, then you need to go back to the dating on a budget drawing board. Simple as that.
To kiss or not to kiss? That is the question. So, when is it OK and to what extent? I think on the first date, personal space barrier breaking should be limited to a hug and a light kiss. Yes, light kiss, no tongue, nothing lingering, and keep your hand off their ass. I know, I know, that sexual chemistry rears its horny head pretty early on, but we’re adults here, not raging hormonal teenagers. Let’s try to exercise some control, at least for the first date. What if, you say, we met online and have been talking for a few weeks via text, phone and even Skype? Does any of that count? My answer to that is – not really. Because you don’t truly know a person, their mannerisms, their scent, the way they chew their food or treat the waiter for that matter, until you meet them in person. So all of that electronic foreplay doesn’t start the full on make out session countdown clock until you can smell their breath and know for sure if you even want to make out. That leads into the next topic:
To hook up or not to hook up? That’s the other question. The second date, the fifth, the tenth, 90 days as Steve Harvey suggests? I think this answer is slightly subjective, depending on the quality of your dates. The bottom line is RESPECT. Yeah, go ahead, sing the song and act like Aretha Franklin, but it’s true. You want to know and care about this person well enough to believe they are going to treat you with respect and visa versa. This also applies to your goal – are you dating just to find a sex partner, or are you looking for something more long term, marriage perhaps? If your goal is the latter, then the longer you wait the better. Better in every respect, the quality of the physical act is improved with each additional tender, caring and affectionate molecule in your partner’s body, and you go home feeling happy and hopeful, not full of regret and woeful. Your mental bond needs to be strong before you introduce the physical bond, otherwise the two can get confused. Not good for long term.
That’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it. I’m guessing some of you may not agree with my assessment of these dating discussion taboos. I’d love to hear your reaction, your viewpoint, start the conversation. What are your thoughts? Don’t be shy!