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Executing a Successful Hookup

hookupwallOne of life’s eternal quandaries – what’s the secret to executing a successful hookup?  Why do so many pickup attempts fail?  What are we doing wrong?  We’ve all been in that boat at one time or another, often more than once, and likely for some of you, on a nightly basis.  We’re lonely, horny, and looking for some action. How can we remedy this situation and get everyone carnally satisfied, at least for the night?  I’ve got the answers!


The basics – shower, shave, brush your teeth, pluck any errant nose hairs, clean out the dirt from under your fingernails, make sure your down below ‘scaping is up to par.  Go easy (light) on the body spray and/or perfume.  Less is more in this case.

Dress appropriately and flattering for your age and body type.

Guys, for the love of God, don’t wear your pants sagging below your butt. saggypants That look ended with Kurt Cobain’s life and Courtney Love’s dignity.  You should let it go as well.  Live in the now. Take some clues from your stylish celebrity counterparts – JT, BP, GC – all reel in the hot and desirable.  A yacht would help, I know, but dressing the part is a good first step.  At the very least, make sure your shirt is clean and your shoes are presentable.  One can tell a lot by a person’s shoes.

Ladies, sexy but tasteful is a good rule of thumb.  Leave some room for mystery, imagination and desire.  Play up your best asset, but remember, if you wore it the first time it was in style, best not to wear it the second time around.  You know who you are!  Let us, too, take some tips from some fashionably famous   icons like Jessica, Sienna and Jennifer. Guys are simple, no need to get all gussied up for them. As long as it’s well fitting and flattering, you’ve got a winner. If your ears are pierced, always wear earrings.  They frame your face, which is a good thing.

An Important Factor in Executing a Successful Hookup – Your Mental State

You know what I’m talking about.  What are you going to do to or put into your body/mind to prepare you for this important and eternally elusive quest?  Whether it’s meditation, yoga, bike ride, run, tequila, medical marijuana – whatever floats your boat.  You want to put yourself in a relaxed, non self conscious, lower (than normal) inhibitioned state.  The goal is to open up your second chakra, provide access to and begin transmitting  your sexual energy.  However you arrive to this place, just make sure of a few things:

Moderation is key.  You want to ensure you are still coherent, able to be yourself, and not turn into a babysitting project for your friends.  You also want to safeguard your memory and possibly your dignity for the next day – this means the 7th mind eraser shot you ordered might not be a good idea.

Also consider the mental state of your prospective hookup.  You may offer, but never push, peer pressure or force any of your party favors onto this person.  They know what they can handle and what will keep them in a pleasant social state.  The last thing you want to do is create a Lindsay Lohan situation.

Ascertaining the Possibility

Before you begin your quest towards executing a successful hookup, your best bet is to read the energy of your prospect.  How is their aura, is it glowing?  Are you feeling positive vibes?  This can all be determined by looking into their eyes, reading their smile and best, getting a hug.hug  The transfer of energy in the hug will tell you all you need to know.  First of all, if this person is willing to hug a perfect stranger, step one, done.  The quality of the hug and the length of the embrace are important determining factors as well.   The exchange of sexual energy all should be present, especially from your end.  The more you put it out there, the more likely you will attract an equally horny candidate.

Eye contact is huge, especially if it’s lingering and/or accompanied by a smile.  This essentially gives you permission to speak, it’s inviting, a conversation starter if you will.

A touch or brushing up against you is also an indication that you are on the right track.  Your personal space has been broached – just make sure it was intentional and friendly, not out of line or disrespectful.

 Hit it Home

Once the mutual sexual chemistry has been established, you’ve pretty much paved the way home.  As long as you don’t say anything really stupid or have a sudden onset of bad gas, you should be good to go.  The world is now your oyster.  Begin to think outside the box – get creative.  The next step does not have to be your place or theirs.  Depending on your modesty and level of inebriation, you might find that back alley super romantic, or even the art sculpture across the street.  All I’m saying is – no excuses.  Where there’s a will there’s a way.  If immediate satisfaction is not an option, at the very least grab some digits and make it happen sooner than later.  Take advantage of this energy while it’s hot!  Oh, and make sure to use protection.  Safety first!

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