People have always had a tendency to fluff themselves up a bit when communicating online. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter…all give you a curated and filtered glimpse into a person’s life. We’re seasoned enough at this point to take every post with a grain of salt. But when it comes to online dating – often it’s more than a mere omission but simply a flat out lie.
“Wow – you don’t look anything like your profile photos!”
say thousands of online daters every day! It’s an unfortunate yet very common occurrence. Once we make the leap to jump offline and meet someone, oftentimes they’re not who you expected them to be. When crafting a profile, frequently people think “what is my dreamboat looking for” rather than “I need to accurately portray myself in order to find the person who likes me for me”. So they create this image that’s not entirely true.
You think you’re savvy
You know how to use the Internet. You read cautionary tales about online dating. You watch the TV show Catfish. This is not your first rodeo! You know better than to send someone money overseas or to talk to someone without a photo, right? So how on earth can these stupid dream-killing lies get past us?
Love is blind
I know you’re not in love yet, but you want to be. So your blinders are prematurely up, and the longer you search, or the later into the evening it gets, or the more glasses of wine you consume, you tend to be a little more lenient. And that’s when they get you! They knew exactly where the sweet spot was too – because you told them, right there in your brilliantly crafted profile!
And there it is
People lie about all sorts of things in their online dating profiles.
The list is endless. Please, add some lies you have experienced in the comment section, I’d love to hear them.
It happened to me!
Yes, me, the online dating guru. How could I have been so naïve? But there you go, I was duped into believing a detail about him, that I later discovered was not true, and of course only after I had begun to have feelings. That’s a deal breaker, right? Easier said than done. It’s hard to shut down feelings once they have begun. I was more upset than anything – I’m always honest, putting my true self out there for everyone to see. I expect that same in others, or at the very least, others who are courting me!
The deal is broken!
So there you have it. It doesn’t matter that he made me laugh, and made me think, and expanded my world, and wined and dined and spoiled me, treating me like a lady and with respect the whole time – so I thought. Crafting and holding onto a lie is the ultimate form of disrespect. It’s arrogant to think that you can tell me anything and charm your way out of it. Nope. You lie about this now, what will you lie about down the road? I’m not willing to take that journey. Not now, not ever.
Is lying an online dating epidemic?
Are these liars ruining it for the rest of us? Not only defaming the image of online dating as a whole, but making it even harder to find that ever elusive needle in the haystack?
I have an idea
Let’s take all of the lying online daters and put them on an island with all of the Internet trolls. Lord of the Flies style. That’ll teach ‘em!
About the Author: Nanci is a resident Wingwoman here at Profile Wingman, where we help people write their online dating profiles. Our #1 goal always is honesty. Watch our video, learn more about us, check out our services, and come back often for interesting blog posts. You can also follow us on Twitter and Facebook.