If you’re online dating, chances are you are multi-dating as we speak! You’re emailing several people for sure, likely texting more than a couple and possibly have scheduled dates with more than one in the next week. I’m here to tell you that if you are in this game hoping to find your one and only, multi-dating is detrimental to your end goal.
I Blame The Bachelor
Think back to the first season, you were a bit appalled that he was going on dates with of all these different ladies, meeting their families and making out with ALL them (and who knows what else!). Over a decade later, this has become the norm, for the TV show and for our lives. Seems practical to line up all of your potential suitors and pit them against each other, rock ‘em sock ‘em style. But guess what, a rose and a kiss does not happily ever after make.
It’s All Relative
Let me draw a picture for you. Imagine you went apple picking and all of the apples had fallen off the tree already. You pick up the 3 best apples off of the ground. One has several wormholes in it, one has begun to rot, and the third has a big bruise on its side. You go with the bruised one because it’s the least of the three evils. But think about it, there are many other apples in the world, just not in your immediate vicinity. Why settle? Are you in that big of a hurry or that desperate?
Besides, Multi-dating is Confusing!
Really, how can you keep it all straight?! Me, I’m chatty and a storyteller, but sometimes I forget to whom I told which story! How embarrassing, and also a tell tale sign that he’s not the one and only (or that I’m in the early stages of dementia). I’ve got a lot going on in my life, the last thing I need to do is keep track of who’s heard which joke, who has seen which outfit and how many times I’ve reminded you that my birthday is April 18, my favorite ice cream is Häagen Dazs chocolate chocolate chip and my favorite flower is the poppy.
Single Track Dating is Better
When I’m writing dating profiles for clients, I’m specific with who they are looking for. I’m not casting a wide net or trying to appeal to the masses. I push my clients to know who the is person that is right for them. If this is hard for you to know, just think of whom you’ve dated in the past and what about them was NOT right for you. Now look for the opposite. Don’t waste your time with people who don’t fit into that mold. Find the one who appears most suitable, and give him/her the time and attention he/she needs to find out if they are deserving of your rose. If you add anyone else into your life during that time, you’re diluting your focus and starting the comparison game, which detracts from your end goal.
What have we learned?
Keep your eye on the prize. More is not necessarily better in this case. Multi-dating can be distracting, overwhelming and certainly perplexing. What do those people who strive for quality say? KISS – keep it simple stupid. Who doesn’t like to kiss? Just make sure you’re kissing one person at time because you never know, that frog could turn out to be a prince. But if you’re kissing all 7 dwarfs, you might just get the rotten apple. :/
About the Author: Nanci is a resident Wingwoman here at Profile Wingman, where we help people write their online dating profiles. Our #1 goal always is honesty. Watch our video, learn more about us, check out our services, and come back often for interesting blog posts. You can also follow us on Twitter and Facebook.