Your online dating profile is your one chance to make a good first impression and accurate introduction to the person of your dreams/fantasies/random hookups. How do you expect to woo these people into your life and potentially even your heart if your online dating profile is less than stellar?
What you say in your online dating profile says a lot about you
The reason being, we don’t know you – so all we’re going off of is what you say. Let’s examine some instances of what you might say and what we, as readers, are thinking about you.
“Just Ask, I’m an Open Book” – You’re lazy and you have nothing interesting or redeeming to say about yourself, so you leave it to others to be engaging and thought-provoking. Boring!
“I’m not a fan of drama” – You’re still in recovery from your last relationship where you were the recipient of a lot of abuse including yelling, screaming and likely name-calling. Get over it. Don’t bring your baggage in here, this is not a loading area. Move on.
“I don’t want to play games” – You want to date someone who is (too) much younger than you, but you prefer if they are mature. Grow up.
Rules/threats – You’re controlling and generally not a fun person to be around. Pass.
Negativity/listing what you don’t want – Your glass is half empty. Add a little more wine in there and buck up. Life isn’t so bad. Smell the roses, dammit!
Your profile is llooooooonnnnnnggggg – You don’t have a life/you’re trying way too hard/you’re super chatty. Chatty is OK. The others, eh.
You say “I’m funny” and your words are SO not funny – You’re trying to be someone you’re not. You may be funny looking, but that’s a different story.
What your online dating profile PHOTOS say about you
Kids in pics – You don’t care for your children (or whosever child you’re displaying for all the world to see) and you didn’t give a second thought to all of the creeps and freaks who are trolling the internet and likely online dating sites as we speak. Not OK.
Not smiling – You have some sort of dental issue that you’re hiding or you’re just not a happy person, or both 🙁 If your teeth are crooked, yellow or missing, it’s OK! However, upfront disclosure is best, as this small detail may be a deal breaker for some. Best to weed those out sooner than later. Plus, people like to be happy, and therefore want to date a cheerful person, so SMILE!
Top half only – You are overweight. It’s ok if you are, just be open and honest with everything that is you – which includes your whole body. This is not a surprise you want to reveal on the first date – it’s likely going to end badly.
Guys wearing a hat in every pic – You’re bald. As far as I know, since I can’t see your the top of your head. Or you have really bad dandruff. Well?
Wearing sunglasses in every pic – You’re ashamed of people peeking into to the windows of your soul. What are you hiding? Hmmm?
No pic at all – You’re married and/or unattractive. It just shows dishonesty. We here at Profile Wingman are all about honesty. Buck up or get the hell out.
Author’s rant, because this one just BUGS me
On OKCupid, they ask “What’s the most private thing you’re willing to admit” and SO many people say, “well if I admit it then it wouldn’t be private”. This means that you have too many skeletons in your closet and that’s where your mind goes when you hear the word private. Or it just means that you’re not completely honest and open and/or comfortable with yourself and your quirks and idiosyncrasies.
The key word is “willing”. I’m willing to admit that I’m addicted to popcorn and I’m a total klutz. Was that so hard?
Don’t beat yourself up
if you happen to have said one or more of the above. Sometimes when you’re talking about yourself, it’s hard to see the forest for the trees. This is why it’s best to leave your online dating profile writing to someone who is objective and clearly knows better. Yes, you’re welcome.
About the Author: Nanci is a resident Wingwoman here at Profile Wingman, where we help people write their online dating profiles. Our #1 goal always is honesty. Watch our video, learn more about us, check out our services, and come back often for interesting blog posts. You can also follow us on Twitter and Facebook.