Some advice and tips for writing a successful dating profile. I happen to think that honesty is a quality which ages well in a relationship. Keep that in the forefront of your mind. Represent your true self. What’s the point of pretending to be someone else? Eventually you will get found out and then you are back to square one. It’s best to reel someone in who likes you for you. I promise, that person exists. Give them a chance to find you.
What do you want/who are you looking for? Now be honest with yourself, and determine what your goal is with the dating site. Are you looking for marriage, steady date, lover? Come on sporto, level with me. (Pardon the Breakfast Club reference, couldn’t help myself) Everything about your profile should reflect this goal. Truthfully and honestly – if you start off on the right foot, you are more likely to get where you’re going in one piece. Honesty is the key to a successful dating profile.
Where to Begin ~ HONESTY!!
Dating Alias aka Screen Name. This should describe you and your goal. Think of what defines you, what is an outstanding characteristic, a nickname perhaps, and turn it into something that will appeal to the person you are trying to attract.
For example, my friends call me Fanci or Pants for short because my name is Nanci and I tend to be, well, fancy. So my screen name is FanciPants. I think it’s playful and shows my level of sophistication, two characteristics I would want in a suitor.
Your Smiling Face aka Photo for the World to Gawk at and Judge – Yes, that’s what tends to happen before someone knows the three dimensional you. They look at a picture, assume to know everything about you and decide if you are right for them. Admit it, you do the same thing. So, think about the turn offs and turn ons. I think this category requires some dos and don’ts. Here’s my advice.
SUCCESSFUL DATING PROFILE DO’S – PHOTOS
- Smile – It brightens the eyes, makes you seem friendly and inviting. If you are angry and standoffish, by all means, don’t smile. Otherwise, show us those teeth!
- Make sure it’s flattering – Sure it’s going to be the real you, but at least make it the best version of you.
- Show 3 to 5 Pics – Gives a good range. Maybe one head shot, one full body, one action photo showing a hobby or pastime, one dressed up and another with friends (because you are judged by the company you keep). Make sure they vary in background and what you are wearing. If you have a pic that’s unique, that’s always a plus.
- Keep it current – This ties in with the honesty. You want to be easily recognizable on your first date. No surprises! This is a good place to implement the do unto others rule…right?!
SUCCESSFUL DATING PROFILE DON’TS – PHOTOS
- Pose shirtless in front of your bathroom mirror – If you have a nice body, good for you! But let’s leave a little to the imagination, shall we?
- Pose with a dead animal – OK, so you’re a hunter, I get it. It’s your passion. I get it. But here’s the thing, unless you’re looking for a hunting buddy, this is not what’s going to attract a mate. Leave that pic for your holiday cards.
- Have a drink in your hand in every photo – Unless of course your goal is to find a drinking partner. Otherwise, this gives the impression that all you do is drink. Like stated above, vary your pictures.
I know I’m repeating myself here – but take my advice and BE HONEST. If you have kids, if you are divorced, if you have a few extra pounds – say so. This is you. Full disclosure. Better to show all of your cards up front, then you know you are liked for the real you, not the “me, minus a few minor details that may later be a deal breaker”. Capisce?
The Goods aka Your About Me. What to say, what to say? As earlier stated, our mothers warned us against being braggadocios. But, how do you get across your wonderfulness if you don’t shed some light? Your profile pictures are not necessarily worth 1000 words. You must add a little personality, a slice of yourself, an insight into your goal – don’t lose sight of that goal! Please don’t say “I don’t know what to say here” or anything self depreciating. Stay positive and upbeat. Also don’t tell me that you are attractive or good looking – I’ll be the judge of that, thank you.
Begin with your hobbies and activities. What you like to do with your free time tells a lot about you. If you play basketball or ride your bicycle, you are active – more believable that you checked the “athletic and toned” box. If you like photography or gardening, that says you are creative. A good rule of thumb is – show don’t tell. So instead of saying “I’m adventurous”, tell about your skydiving club that meets once a week. But be selective – stating that you are the grand champion at beer pong might be a tidbit best saved for the 10th date. Just sayin’.
List your aspirations. What are your dreams, ambitions, top ten bucket list items? This helps in visualization – do you share the same desire to peak Mount Everest, barrel a wave in Australia, set up a school in Rwanda? Ambition is a plus in the “my perfect mate” chapter of one’s life goals. Get creative, have fun! But let’s keep it clean, shall we? This is not the place to list bedroom fantasies and/or fetishes. Unless that’s your ultimate goal, then go for it.
Keep it brief. A successful dating profile should be able to be read in one minute or less. Obviously yours is not the only one out there – so you need to get your point across quickly. Good pics, a few tidbits to paint a more detailed portrait and an idea to peak curiosity – they’re hooked! If their goals match yours, you are sure to receive a wink or an email.
Need help? Have all the info but don’t have the finesse to put it all together? That’s where your Wingman comes in. Check the “Services” tab and you will see what we can do for you. Not to worry, we’ve got you!