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Am I Undateable?

tumblr_n1kw2nCfTu1sh41qso1_500Do too many first dates make you undateable?

I’ve always been of the mind that anyone is worth one date.  Everyone is interesting in his or her own way; I’ll learn something new, see a new perspective, maybe even get some material for my blog.  Hell, even the worst dates have the consolation prize of having a great story to tell for years to come.

But there comes a point in your dating life where all you seem to be going on is first dates.  They begin number 2, 3, 4 per week, and they really start to add up.

What’s your name again?

Often you don’t even bother to get their last names, so in your phone it’s just Ryan OkCupid or Steve Tinder and they fall into the faceless mass of undateables.

I was in the midst of a first date last week when I received this text from what my phone told me was RyanOkC.

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My first thoughts were, “who is Ryan and oh shit, I don’t recall seeing anyone I recognized tonight.”  So not only did I not remember who this guy was, apparently I had deleted the memory of his face from my mind as well.  This brought me to the conclusion that I go on too many dates.  Or that my date with Ryan was so bad it wasn’t worth holding onto at all.  Or likely, both.

Quality vs. Quantity

What I’ve come to realize is that going on a bunch of dates with guys I give no second thought to is really quite unfulfilling. It’s almost downright depressing.  You go on the date with a metered level of expectation, certainly some hope, only to be let down, yet again.

I much prefer waking up the next morning with that new sunshine of excitement brewing in my heart.  The daydream of potential good times ahead with a guy I actually connected with.

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Connection is Key

This we all know.  If you are not attracted to this person, you don’t feel any chemistry or palpable energy between you two, if the conversation does not flow, impress, and excite, then likely the date is ending after the first drink.  You know pretty early on once you meet face to face how things are going to progress.  Why do you think speed dating was born?  Exactly.

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 Follow your goal

That’s really a good general rule of life to follow.  Establish what it is you want for yourself and your future, and all of your actions should follow that goal.  Full disclosure, I was in a relationship hating stage.  I had just had my heart broken and didn’t want to take that risk again any time soon.  But I still enjoy the company of men, I still like meeting new people, I still like getting out of my house every once in a while.  Multiple dates with no prospect was certainly sticking with my goal.

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Listen to your heart

My heart started telling my brain, “this sucks!  These dates are empty and vapid and I’m not growing.  Cut it out!  Change your goal!  I need love too!”

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Make a change

It’s that simple.  Change your mindset, alter the wording on your dating profile, shift the manner in which you interact with people.  Et voila, your new goal will soon be realized.  You will no longer be undateable and will quickly return to the wonderful world of letting your love light shine.  Enjoy!

About the Author:  Nanci is a resident Wingwoman here at Profile Wingman, where we help people write their online dating profiles.  Our #1 goal always is honesty. Watch our video, learn more about us, check out our services, and come back often for interesting blog posts.  You can also follow us on Twitter and Facebook.

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