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Writing a Successful Dating Profile – for the Ladies

writingasuccessfulprofileDISCLAIMER: this one is for the ladies.  If you are of the male persuasion, you may be better off reading this blog.

A successful dating profile?  Is that an oxymoron?  It’s tough right?!  What happened to chivalry?  We stand on one side of the gym; THEY walk across and ask US to dance.  All because we look a certain way, stand a particular way and send out the right kind of vibe.   Where did those days go?  Now we’re subjected to lame pick up lines (do those ever really work?), trying to get his eye contact in the grocery store, or our best bet, fending for ourselves via online dating.  Nothing wrong with it, no judging allowed. But it’s a whole new world, one where you present yourself two dimensionally and hope to stand apart from thousands of others.  No pressure!  I’m here to assist you in traversing this newly chartered and often rocky terrain.  A successful dating profile can exist, read on for some tips.

THE KEY TO A SUCCESSFUL DATING PROFILE – BE HONEST

I told this to the guys too – you must present your TRUE SELF from the very beginning.  That means recent, unphotoshopped pictures, listing your true age and accurate body type.  We all know guys are visual, we want to lead with the most appealing image.  The problem is, eventually, you are going to meet this guy in person, and then he’ll see the truth.  Why waste everyone’s time?  Honesty and sincerity are very attractive qualities and will show through in your profile.  Don’t worry, there are all types of fish in the sea, I promise many of whom who will gladly take your bait.

ESTABLISH A GOAL

This will contribute to all aspects of your profile.  What are you hoping to accomplish through this dating site?  This is where you need to be honest with yourself.  Are you hoping to find the man who will someday meet you at the end of “the” aisle or are you really just looking for someone to satisfy some basic needs?  Or somewhere in between?  Whatever the answer, your voice, your photos, your stated desires all need to contribute towards that goal.  Be consistent, and you will be more successful in luring exactly the guy you want.

The goal is NOT to find the perfect guy, but to locate the PERFECT GUY FOR YOU

 letsgetweirdtogether

THE ESSAY

Determine your voice – what do you want to project and who do you want to attract?   If you are fun and easy going with a sarcastic side and hoping for someone who is funny, then speak in a relaxed and flirty tone and throw in a few witty remarks.  If you are more bookish and serious and looking for a hockey fan, then make sure your essay is smartly written and polished and talk about your favorite team and your dream of someday going to the Stanley Cup.

Paint a picture – talk about your passions, your hobbies, your life dreams.  Be descriptive – don’t just say “I love tennis” but rather “I’m a fantastic doubles partner and am hoping to go to watch the US Open this fall” Help him to visualize doing these things with you. Don’t just say you’re funny but be funny.    Think of your wittiest sayings, your favorite joke – no one online has heard them before, go for it.

Make sure you stay positive.  Don’t talk about how you don’t know what to say or that you’ve never tried online dating before.  Don’t make excuses or put yourself down.  Smile as you type, make sure you’re in a good mood when you sit down to write your essay.  If you are treating this as a chore or a dreaded last resort, that will show through.  Be sure to put your best self forward, and remember, girls just gotta have fun!

Describe the guy of your dreams.  Not just a kind, respectful, good looking, smart and funny guy. We all want him!   Try to elaborate and look at the bigger picture.  “I want a guy who can go camping with me and will understand when I freak out that there’s a spider in our tent” or “I’m looking for someone to join me in searching out the hidden gems of the world”.  Get creative, dig deep, construct a scenario where the right guy will say “yeah, that’s me, I want to do that!”

Know where to draw the line.  No need to go on and on about your idiosyncrasies or the relationship you have with your mom.  You can cite deal breakers (“I prefer a guy who doesn’t smoke”), but don’t list too many, remember we’re staying positive. 🙂  Also, guys don’t have much of an attention span, so best to keep it on the shorter side – readable in under a minute if possible.

THE PHOTOS

Take all of the advice from above and apply that into your photos – honesty, goal, voice.  Combine that with the fact that guys are visual and you can set your stage.  Unless your goal is focused on time between the sheets, I recommend you stay fully clothed.  Even if you look great in your bikini, no need to show that much skin because that will then consume his thoughts.    Ok, fair enough, that’s all guys ever think about.  But at least let’s give ourselves a fighting chance, shall we?

unicycle

A nice face shot, a full(ly clothed) body shot, maybe one or two with (not as good looking) friends – these are all nice options.  If a photo or two shows you doing your favorite activities, biking, knitting, mud wrestling – even better!    I feel about 5 photos is a good number.  This shows a range while not looking too desperate.  Oh, and most importantly, make sure you SMILE!  Smiling shows you’re happy – and people like to be happy.  Right?

NOTE:  Try to set yourself apart.  You ran the color run?  Guess what, so did everyone else.

STILL NEED HELP?

We know, you may be an amazing accordion player but writing just isn’t your thing. That’s why we’re here!  We will get to know you via Skype or phone to ascertain all of the above.  We will then present you with a profile which accurately represents you and your goals.  We guarantee approval from the dating site of your choice, and promise to send you off with a successful dating profile.  We are your wingmen – we would never let you down!

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